Have you ever heard the Holy Spirit whispering in your ear? I have been hearing it quite a bit lately. Something I realized is that I have been ignoring that whisper. Why would I do such a thing? The Lord of the universe is talking to me and I am consciously turning away. That certainly takes some nerve don't you think?
When I was pregnant I had complications. I gave in and I turned my worries and fears over to the Lord. I was at peace. I was not in control. Even better I wasn't trying to be in control. After Little Bit was born I turned to my Lord and said I got this. I started trying to control my life again. It has been a downward spiral for nine months. I feel myself slipping back into depression. I feel far away from my Lord.
Recently I started praying for my Lord to take control of my life. I use this metaphor. It's silly but it's relevant to this stage of my life. I ask my Lord to treat me as a baby. I ask him to put me in the carseat and strap me in. He is in the drivers seat and I am an infant in a rear facing carseat strapped in and completely relying on him to lead my life.
Since I have been doing this I can hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit coming back into my life. Even though I am getting what I asked for I have been ignoring it. I know why. Fear. Plain and simple. What if I am afraid to do what He asks? What if I am to tired? I don't want to disappoint my Lord. I, I, I...
Here is my realization this morning as I heard the Holy Spirit tickle my ears again. When I ignore I am not submitting. I am still frantically holding on to what I perceive as control. I have none. My Lord controls my life, so I submit.
The tickling in my ear this morning was the 30 day giving challenge hosted by Kingdom First Mom. I have heard the spirit whispering for awhile now that I need to get involved in this. I love giving. I get great internal joy from it. I suspect it is my spiritual gift.
I don't have a plan. I am afraid I wont be able to think of what to do for thirty days worth of giving. I don't have my car right now. So many obstacles are in my path. Today when I read Alyssa's post on her fears about the challenge and the obstacles that were in her path I realized what was stopping me was the enemy. He was whispering in my other ear. You cant do it. He was throwing things in my path. No more.
Today I let the Lord guide me. Today I am going to give Christmas money to my three sponsored Compassion children. I don't have a car but I have the Lord who has been so generous to me. I can give virtually and I can pray for my three wonderful kids. Today I give and I will let the Lord lead me in what to give for the next 29 days.
Wont you join me? Lets show the world the love of Jesus Christ. Lets use this spiritual gift. Lets listen to the Holy Spirit. Lets walk this road together. Wont you join me brothers and sisters?