Sick and Tired, No Really I Am

Tweet I finally broke down and went to the doctor yesterday. I have been feeling rough for quite some time but starting on Sunday I had some acute symptoms that couldn't be ignored. I headed off to the doc yesterday afternoon. She said I am having another diverticulitis attack but that is just the start.

I also told her about some chronic issues I have been having like intense leg pain at night and a lump I can feel in my abdomen. Yeah I know I should have gone sooner. The only real excuse I have for not is that I am nursing Little Bit and I knew they couldn't run any extensive testing.

The doctor diagnosed me with Restless Leg Syndrome for the leg pain. I can't take meds for it but she did prescribe four ounces of tonic water after I feed the baby for the last time at night. The quinine in it apparently helps to ease RLS. It actually seemed to work last night. Praise the Lord. My legs did hurt a little but nothing compared to what it has been.

She also wants to do some testing for the mass in my abdomen. She said it is most likely scare tissue but it is always better to be on the safe side. She said an ultrasound would be safest but would probably not give the results we need. Then she thought about a CT Scan without contrast which she also thinks will not produce a good picture. If we have to run a CT Scan with contrast the baby will not be able to nurse for at least 48 hours. Here is the problem. My baby will not and I mean NOT take anything but the breast. I have tried every bottle known to man. He drinks limitedly from a cup, water bottle, and sippy cup but not enough to get eight ounces of water into him. If this is the route we have to take we will have to get the Lactation Consultant involved to find a solution,hopefully, to our problem.

It sounds strange but this is all a relief. I have been so tired. Unable to even carry out basic functions. I thought for a time that I must be depressed. That perhaps I was creating these problems within myself because of stress. I feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I'm not depressed I am sick and tired. Now I know. Now it can be fixed.

I reached a breaking point this weekend. I melted down from sheer exhaustion. Poor Nick. At that point I surrendered. I am not in control. I have no say over anything. The Lord is in control of my life. When I stress about it nothing happens. I stay in a horrible holding pattern of despair. When I let my Lord carry the burdens for me breakthroughs miraculously appear. What a great and merciful Lord I have!