Tweet For several months I have felt bad. Then I felt worse than bad. I was very grumpy, tired, and turned from doing things that I loved. My blog was neglected because the thought of getting out my laptop and turning it on was more than I could handle.
I was scared.
When I was in my early twenties before I came back to my walk with the Lord I suffered from manic depression. It was a horrible dark time in my life. I lost years due to it. Years of laying in bed and staring at the same tree.
One day God cured me.
How cool is that? He turned my focus away from self and onto Him. When I started feeling bad a few months ago that little voice in my head told me "hey you weren't cured!" Being in the middle of an adoption is no time to start loosing your cool either. Giving a beautiful child to someone who is unraveling is not something Ethiopian officials do.
So, I tried to ignore it. Then, it got worse.
Finally after much encouragement from Hubs I made a doctors appointment. I cried, lots. What if, what if, what if....
I went in and told her of my symptoms. She sent me out for tests. One of which was blood work. The results came back and my hemoglobin is a nine. A diagnosis of anemia with some other girly things mixed in.
And that's okay.
You know why?
Because the diagnosis is not depression.
Anemia makes me tired. Being tired makes me not want to do the things I normally love. Being tired makes me grumpy. Low oxygen levels really take it out of you. So, here's hoping to more alert days in my near future and hopefully a quick return to the life I once had.
I've missed you all so much!